kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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