I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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