shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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