Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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