Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
