My brain says no but my pants say off.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
