How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
