glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
