is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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