I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
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