Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
