You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Randomize
