why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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