i think i have two assholes
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize