Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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