too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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