BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
