either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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