My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
