I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
