You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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