if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
