btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
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I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
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You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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