i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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