That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
