Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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