I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
