I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
