You're my little dorito
Please, let me fuck your mom
I wish I only lived at night.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
