u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
