Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
