I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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