What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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