the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
