OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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