Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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