So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
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The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
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