i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize