you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
