someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
