he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
