It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you would pick up someone in the library
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
