Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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