PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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