my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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