carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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