shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
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Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
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I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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