Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
