You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
