The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
