I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
