Its about making memories worth repressing
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
