This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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