You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Randomize