We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
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My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.