The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.