do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
