Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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