Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
