So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
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Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
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I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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