yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just pynch a tree in the face
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
